


Chasing Chances

by triplequad (orphan_account)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Developing Relationship, Hopeful Ending, Implied S.Coups/Nayoung (Pristin), Implied Woozi/Ailee, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 12:17:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13411098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/triplequad
Summary: Seungcheol has lost count of their what-ifs, but Jihoon has only started counting.





	Chasing Chances

**Author's Note:**

> • This is for my lovely friends [Ny](https://twitter.com/enniechan), [Bana](https://twitter.com/bononers654321), [Steffi](https://twitter.com/healingqilin), and [Kuro](https://twitter.com/paranwooyou), who supported me and pushed me to start writing once again. This fic wouldn't be possible without them. Thank you so much. ♡
> 
> • All characters have the same age in the fic.

 

 

_(7)_

 

"You're not going to sleep yet?"

"Not yet."  
"But why? It's like..." Seungcheol tears his eyes away from staring at Jihoon’s face to squint at the tiny clock situated at the corner of his laptop screen, "11:30am here, so probably around uhh, 11pm there?" he guesses with a sigh.

Jihoon chuckles quietly, and Seungcheol allows it to resonate in his earphones. If he listens closely, he can hear Jihoon's laughter echoing softly in the room. He's trying to be quiet but to no avail. Seungcheol smiles at his attempt.  
  
"No you silly. It's just around 9pm here."

"Ahh, my bad." Seungcheol chuckles sheepishly. "Time zones suck. I can never memorize time zones even if I tried to remember what time will it be there once you arrived."  
  
Even through the hazy video quality, Seungcheol watches Jihoon smile softly at him through the screen, picking up a guitar to put on his lap afterwards. "It's fine. Even I haven't adjusted to the time yet. It's been days, but I still feel the jetlag." Jihoon says as he softly strums the guitar.  
  
"How many hours was it again? Seoul to New York? The travel time I mean."  
"14 hours or so."  
  
Seungcheol makes a face while Jihoon quietly snickers at him. "Why do you attempt to keep quiet so much? I mean, like you said it's only 10pm there—"  
  
"10:15"  
  
"whatever you get my point— so I'm gonna assume people aren't asleep yet. Who are you staying at anyways?"  
  
"Not to rudely generalize oy anything, but I'm staying with my cousin's husband? Well, his side of the family. They’re… old people,” Seungcheol snickers at his choice of words as Jihoon rolled his eyes at him. “so they tend to sleep earlier? That’s why I’m trying to keep it down, I don’t want to wake them up.” Jihoon huffs. “We’re college students Seungcheol. We don’t sleep.”

Laughter echoed through the room, Seungcheol laughing out loud to his heart’s content while Jihoon crinkles his eyes in laughter and hides his grin by his sleeve.

“How long are you going to stay with them though? Are you still having a hard time looking for your own place to stay at?” Seungcheol asks softly, wary that he may offend Jihoon with his question. He receives a soft sigh in reply while Jihoon fixes his seat, effectively moving the laptop a bit as well. Seungcheol patiently waits for a reply, confident that he’ll get an answer. Jihoon likes to answer serious questions with long pauses before saying them in words.

“You know that I don’t have plans to stay for a long period of time.” Jihoon says, giving Seungcheol a small sad smile. Seungcheol returns it with a small smile of his, as if to tell Jihoon that he understands.

“It's lonely here, I have no one."  
  
An awkward silence followed Jihoon's comment as Seungcheol tried to stifle a sigh. He knows, they both know, but it's inevitable, they're aware of it. Sometimes the only way to achieve success and happiness is for sadness to come before it.  
  
"Hey, cheer up." Seungcheol says with a small smile. "It's just a few months... hopefully. How bad can New York be?"  
  
Jihoon smiles at this, and Seungcheol feels glad that he was able to make Jihoon smile, even if just for a while. He sits up straighter on his chair, fixing his laptop screen to show more of his face. It wasn't always that they have a chance to do a video call.  
  
"Hey Cheol?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I actually made a song in my boredom here. There's no lyrics yet, just the melody. Do you want to listen to it?"  
"Sure."  
  
As Jihoon started to softly strum the strings of the guitar, he closes his eyes and allows himself to be consumed by the music. Seungcheol watches him with a small smile on his face, a phrase on his lips, waiting to utter them to the person that mattered most for him. _I miss you._  


 

_(1)  
_

 

If you would ask Seungcheol, there was no exact happening in which they were introduced to each other; him and Jihoon. It's like just one day they suddenly knew each other.  
  
Jihoon is the genius musician that everyone has a crush on, while Seungcheol was the newbie that everyone thought was too quiet but was just too shy to say the first word in a conversation.  
  
Seungcheol remembers entering the college org room for the first time, observing the room for the first time. Benches stacked on the left of the rectangular room, a small shelf filled with books on the right side, various materials stacked on top of one another on the wall farthest from him, and a rectangular table in the middle of the room with chairs surrounding it.  
  
He scanned the faces of the people seated on the chairs, only to see someone that he has never seen before, even if he feels like they have known each other for a long time already. _Huh_ _._ Seungcheol would remember muttering to himself. _Why does it feel like I know you already..._ __  
  
Seungcheol remembers the hazy memories of Mingyu telling him countless stories of how handsome Jihoon was and how cool he looked and he'd just nod, not knowing who he was back then.  
  
Someone suddenly bounds up to him with a bright smile plastered on his face. "Hi! You're Seungcheol right?" He nods meekly, suddenly hyper aware of the attention on him. "Don't be shy, come on! I'm Soonyoung, let me show you the way around!"

He takes a step further inside the room with Soonyoung’s arm around his shoulders, before suddenly stopping mid-step as someone unexpectedly bounded up behind them, calling out loud inside the room in a thundering voice, "Hey Jihoon, let's go!" in a hurry. As soon as his presence was established, the boy Seungcheol felt familiar with suddenly stood up from the table.

"Leaving already?" Soonyoung says, looking straight at the boy was quickly fixing his things into his bag. "Yeah I have a class. See you guys later!"  
  
Both Seungcheol and Soonyoung watch Jihoon leave in a hurry, Soonyoung shrugging while Seungcheol with a confused expression on his face. "Oh... so that was Jihoon? Lee Jihoon, right?"  
  
"How did you know him?" Soonyoung brightens up. Seungcheol meekly shrugs, trying to brush off the awkwardness in him. Soonyoung was being nice, he shouldn't feel this awkward. "When Mingyu was new here he kept telling me how cool Jihoon was or something. I just took a random guess that he had a crush on him or something."  
  
Soonyoung snorted at Seungcheol's statement. "I'm not surprised. Everyone who's new here had a crush on Jihoon at some point."  
  
"Uhh well, I'm new and I don't?" Everyone in the room suddenly erupted into laughter, effectively startling Seungcheol.  
  
"You my friend!" Soonyoung says in between his laughter, "I like you already!"  
  
Seungcheol remembers telling himself that he was just being honest. Yeah eventually he found out that Jihoon was really a genius, truly talented in music, and is gorgeously handsome, but he never had a crush on him at first glance,  
  
right?  


 

_(9)_

 

  _One message from Lee Jihoon at 7:10pm._

_-hey cheol_

_-I just had a talk_

_-with yejin_

  


Mingyu glances up at Seungcheol, a quiet question on his eyes as he chews on his dinner and slowly swallows it. Who was it?

“Just Jihoon.” Seungcheol says before flipping the phone over, resuming eating his dinner. It was a hot summer night, winter ended too quickly and immediately bombarded them with sweat and humidity. Mingyu would complain from time to time on how hot it was at the small-family restaurant where they were eating at while Seungcheol would roll his eyes at him in fake irritation.

“You're not going to reply to him?”

“Maybe later.” Seungcheol suddenly says, immediately shutting down any possible further comments from Mingyu. He raises an eye at this, curious at Seungcheol's actions. Mingyu quickly swallows his food, washes it down with water before putting down his utensils to face Seungcheol. If he was going to talk it out of Seungcheol, he must put his full attention on him.

“Is there something wrong with you and Jihoon?”

Seungcheol doesn't look at Mingyu as he offhandedly shrugs, a blank expression seen on his face. “Nothing much.” He opted to say.

Mingyu is so close to rolling his eyes at Seungcheol's actions. If Seungcheol acted this way, something happened and he was trying not to say it. Mingyu knew Seungcheol too much, he knows when something is up and knows when Seungcheol opts not to say it in his defense that I'll be able to handle it on my own anyways.

“How many hours is the time difference of Seoul from New York again?”

“I don't know, I don't keep track.”

This time Mingyu willingly rolls his eyes at Seungcheol at his reply, patience running thin at Seungcheol's indifference. He pulls out his phone, quickly googles the time difference before showing it to Seungcheol who had to pull his face back from the proximity of the phone to his face.

“Dude, it's 14 hours. It's 5am in New York right now. Why is Jihoon still awake?”

“I don't know.” Seungcheol shrugs yet again.” Maybe he's—”

“Maybe he needs someone to talk to?” Mingyu says in a hard but questioning tone, slamming his hand lightly on the table to emphasize his point. Seungcheol jumps at this in surprise, eyes widening at Mingyu's irritated stance. He slowly lowers down his utensils, eyes warily staring at Mingyu's scrutinizing ones. “What is wrong with you Cheol? Why are you ignoring Jihoon?”

“I'm... not...?” Seungcheol tries to lie under Mingyu's scrutiny. “I'm not, really. I just try not to take up too much of his time from projects, time from his family, time—”

“From Yejin?” Mingyu deadpans, effectively rendering Seungcheol speechless at his choice of words. Mingyu sighs at Seungcheol's obviousness, shaking his head in defeat. “Cheol, if that’s your reason, then we all know Jihoon is a master at procrastination. He does it so well that all his end results are still amazing projects.” Mingyu chuckles sarcastically before continuing. “And if he wanted to spend time talking with you at wee hours of the morning, then he'll make time for it.”

“But Yejin—”

“Is probably not online, or is probably not replying like you do.” Mingyu emphasizes with a sigh. “Cheol, my point is why are you so afraid of talking with Jihoon? More so now that you're not only separated by land and by water, but also by different time zones?”

Seungcheol finds himself looking down on his lap, his phone tightly clutched on his right hand. He stifles a sigh, brows furrowed in worry at the implication of Mingyu's words.

“I'm just... afraid. That I'm the reason for all his difficulties.”

When he looks up, it is to find Mingyu shaking his head in defeat, clearly trying to make his point across to Seungcheol.

“When it comes to Jihoon, we all know that he'll never blame you for anything.”

 

 

_(2)_

  
"So how are things?"  
  
"What things?" Jihoon rolled his eyes at Seungcheol's reply, sighing loudly. Seungcheol allows a smirk to grace on his lips, satisfied at successfully annoying Jihoon. "Come on, don't be such a dick. About you and Nayoung! How are things going between you two?"  
  
Seungcheol never really planned to start dating someone once he entered their college org. He was living a normal life in college, passing through every semester with difficulty, having great friends around him, joining a college music org was just a bonus that in Mingyu's words I'll be there, it'll be fun! Plus, it'll add more credibility in your resume.  
  
So Seungcheol joined the music org's semestral recruitment, and got in. Afterwards, he met Nayoung.  
  
If you would ask Seungcheol in the future, he would admit that even if yes, he finds Nayoung pretty, talented, and he's charmed by her; but the so-called spark just wasn't there. Jihoon's words were somehow the final push that gave Seungcheol the initiative to try dating her. Just try. He'll lose nothing, right?  
  
Right.  
  
"We're okay." He says, swiveling the computer chair he was seated at. It was a random night in their college org room wherein everyone was too busy to stay and loiter, and opted to catch some needed sleep after finals week had doomed on all of them. It was only Seungcheol and Jihoon in the room.  
  
"Just okay?"  
"Yeah, just okay."  
  
Jihoon stared at him for a long while, as if willing the truth out of Seungcheol if he stared hard enough. Seungcheol sighs, pushes his seat away from the table to face Jihoon straight ahead to where he was seated at.  
  
"Yes Jihoon, we're just okay."  
"Really?"  
"Really."  
"Huh. I would've guessed that you'd be all happy, seeing as how you worked hard just to get her attention."  
  
What Jihoon said was true, because Seungcheol really did tried to make Nayoung notice him. And he feels that he truly is happy, but that was it. He's happy when he's with her, but when they weren't, Seungcheol feels as if his relationship with her doesn't exist. Was he truly happy with her?  
  
"I'm... we're okay, don't worry."  
"… okay, sure."  
  
Seungcheol sighs, and attempts to try and focus again on the work he had left on his laptop. He had one more exam to go, but he doesn't feel like studying at all. He brings his eyes back up to stare at Jihoon, who has taken to playing a song on his guitar.  
  
"Hey, I like that song."  
Jihoon playfully rolled his eyes. "Yeah sport, I know."  
  
Seungcheol chuckles, placing a hand underneath his chin, using his elbow on top of the table to support the whole weight of his head. "How are things? With you and Yejin?"  
  
Jihoon suddenly stops playing the guitar, staring blankly ahead towards the ground. Seungcheol waits for an answer curiously, but with patience and naïve understanding.  
  
"We're okay."  


 

 _(8)_  
  


_Lee Jihoon attached a file at 3:40am._

_ParkBom_YouandI_cover.mp4_

_-hey cheol_

_-I know it's a god awful time there, but I just did a random cover of you and i!_

_-I wanted to share it with you so_

_-lol_

_-I hope you see it once you wake up!?!_

_-good morning!_

_-or good night?_

_-whatever haha_

 

 

Seungcheol squints at the time the alarm clock beside him is showing. 6:30am. It's around 4pm at New York, and Jihoon would probably be asleep, taking a nap. He opted to reply to his message later and to watch the video instead.

When they got to know each other, Seungcheol took a wild guess that they would have drastically different music genre preferences. Partially he was correct, but he was also wrong. The both of them love ballads, and they would take time to sing ballads while Jihoon strums the song on his guitar. They'll do it as often as they could in their college org's room, regardless of whoever there was with them.

It was a random moment when they found out that they both liked Park Bom’s You and I. Seungcheol was just quickly scrolling through his phone, eager to find another song to jam with Jihoon when he stumbled upon it. He showed it to Jihoon, and one can say that the rest was history. Whenever they would have their jamming sessions, You and I would always be part of their setlist.

Seungcheol watched Jihoon fumble with the camera at the start of the video, showing a sheepish smile at his clumsiness before positioning his guitar properly on his lap.

“This is just a random cover,” Jihoon on the video says. “I was bored, so.”

He starts playing the guitar, and slowly but surely, his voice fills up the whole room. Entranced, Seungcheol closes his eyes and listens to Jihoon's voice.

Seungcheol would always remember how shy Jihoon would look whenever he would compliment him on his skills. He was one of the best and their org treasures him so, but Jihoon would just duck his head in shyness and say that he's still lacking.

 

 

_“You're seriously so good in singing Jihoon, you should really sing more!”_

_“Nah, I think I'll just stick to playing the guitar.”_

_“But dude, are you serious? Your voice is gorgeous! You—”_

_“No one really has told me that before you know.”_

_“What?”_

_“That I'm good in singing.”_

_“... but you really are.”_

_Jihoon stares at him, a small fond smile at his face._

_“That.. means a lot Cheol. Thank you.”_

_You and I together. It’s just feel alright_

_I will never leave you and no matter what anybody says, I’ll be there to protect you_

_You and I together, don’t ever let go my hands_

_I’ll never say “goodbye” to you, even when this world ends_

 

 

The video ends with a chuckling Jihoon, shyly smiling at the camera. “Thanks for watching! I hope I did well.”

Seungcheol ended up staring at the black screen of his laptop, a smile on his face. 6:20am. _I miss you._

 

 

_(3)_

 

 “How is he?”

Mingyu grunts, pulling up Seungcheol to help him walk in a straight line. He juggles holding Seungcheol's arm up to assist him in walking while holding the phone with his other arm towards his ear.

“He's... okay. He'll live.”

Jihoon sighs from the other line, static cackling through the receiver as if to mock Seungcheol’s demise. Mingyu stops to wait at a traffic light, steadying Seungcheol at a lampost. Seungcheol giggles drunkenly, making Mingyu scrunch his nose from the undeniably stench of too much alcohol.

“Look Mingyu just—”

“You can't blame yourself for this, okay Jihoon?”

He was met with silence, a silence that to Mingyu obviously meant that Jihoon was at a loss on what to say and what to do.

“I'm practically the one who brought them together Mingyu. I'm the one who persuaded Seungcheol to date Nayoung. I assured him that I knew her, that she was a good person. But I—”

“make mistakes. We all do. Nayoung’s a bitch for what she did, we all know, but we can't put the sole blame to one person. If we're to blame anyone it's not even you Jihoon. It's Seungcheol and Nayoung. Nayoung for playing with him, and Seungcheol for putting his feelings out there when we all know that he really isn't into her. We can't blame ourselves Jihoon. This is on them.”

Mingyu's rant was met with silence, and for a good second, he believed that Jihoon at hung up on him before a soft sigh was heard from the other line. “I just... can't help but blame myself Mingyu.”

“Jihoonie? Is that Jihoonie?” Seungcheol says with an obvious slur in his words. Mingyu hands him the phone wordlessly, as Seungcheol takes a deep breath before speaking at the phone. “I can actually see your ugly pouting face from here Jihoon.”

Jihoon scoffs through the receiver, effectively making Seungcheol smile. He hikes himself up towards the lampost steadily, forcing himself to stand up straighter, forcing himself to sober up. He watches Mingyu looking away, giving them the privacy that they might need.

“You don't have to blame yourself you know. I had the feeling, and you know that I had the feeling that sooner or later she'll break up with me. We're both aware that she has her own issues, we have to understand that.”

“It doesn't make her less of a bitch. She's still one. She played with you Cheol.”

Seungcheol laughs, a soft broken tone that carries out in the cold midnight air. “Well, that is true. But what's done is done. It isn't your fault Jihoon. It's hers and mine, and it's done already.”

Silence followed through Seungcheol's words, and he was about to end the phone call, believing that he had made clear to Jihoon that it wasn't his fault before a few words made it past through the receiver. “I wish I could just help you with the pain.”

Seungcheol smiles. “You already are.”

 

 

_(5)_

 

“How many months will you stay there again?”

Jihoon deadpanned at Seungcheol's statement, earning him laughter from his companion. Jihoon shakes his head in amusement as Seungcheol continues laughing at him. “I don't know how many times you plan to ask me that Cheol, but asking me plenty of times won't make my time there shorter you know.”

Seungcheol takes a deep breathe to cease himself from laughing, a small bitter smile gracing his lips. “Yeah I know.” He says. “I'm just messing with you. I want to know how long you can take me redundantly asking you how long you'll be staying there before you get tired of me.”

Jihoon sighs softly, trying hard to keep a positive façade. “You know I'll never get tired of you Cheol.” Seungcheol happily hums in reply.

It's a cold night, and a negative mindset won't help him with walking through the dark streets and the cold air. Neither one of them had wanted to leave their org room, jamming their hearts out for what will be the last time in a long while. They sang and jammed through various ballads, enjoying the night up until a security guard came into the room asking them to leave for the university is already closing for the night.

“Don't be sad Jihoon! Let's stay positive! The internship itself is a good opportunity! And didn't you say that if they'd allow, you'd try to come home as early as you can?”

Jihoon smiles at Seungcheol's attempt in cheering him up, watching him walk backwards ahead of him so that he was facing Jihoon as he speaks. “It's just that… I'll be going way out of my comfort zone, I'll be away from the people that I care for.”

“Like Yejin?”

They stopped walking, Jihoon wearing a blank look while a questioning expression was on Seungcheol's. Tired eyes never left each other's face, as if daring the other to speak first, to end the silence that had been stretching on for too long.

A small smile slowly started gracing on Jihoon's as a reply. Seungcheol returned it back with his own, turning away from Jihoon to stare at the dark night sky.

“Don't worry much Jihoon. We all believe you'll be coming back in one piece. We'll all still be here waiting for your return.”

Jihoon steps forward to Seungcheol, looks up to him before suddenly wrapping his arms around Seungcheol's torso. “Even you?” Jihoon softly questions, as if afraid of Seungcheol’s answer even if his action says otherwise. Jihoon effectively traps Seungcheol in a hug, burying his face on Seungcheol's chest, as he waits for the answer.

In answer, Seungcheol slowly brought his arms around Jihoon, locking him in place, tightening the hug. He buries his face in Jihoon's hair, taking a deep breath to remember Jihoon's scent that he will miss for a long while.

“Most importantly, me.”

 

 

_(4)_

 

Seungcheol enters the org room quietly, a confused expression etched on his face as he watched a serious Jihoon and Soonyoung quietly talking at a corner of the room before Jihoon abruptly stood up, carried his things and left the room without single glance towards him.

He looked at Soonyoung with so much confusion in his eyes, but Soonyoung only gave him a shrug with an apologetic smile plastered on his face. “Is everything okay?” He asks as he watches Soonyoung fixing the stack of papers messily arranged on top of the table.

“Well,” Soonyoung starts, before he takes a deep breath and sighs. “I do hope so that everything will be alright.”

Seungcheol slowly sits beside Soonyoung, careful not to jostle the papers out of its messy order. Soonyoung smiles in gratitude at his obvious careful actions, before continuing with arranging the papers.

He tried minding his own business, even opening his laptop to try and work on a paper but to no avail. Every once in a while, Seungcheol finds himself side eyeing Soonyoung, curiosity getting the best out of him. He just wanted to know what were they talking about so seriously, was that bad?

Soonyoung chuckles at his obvious antics, eyes not wavering from the paperwork that he was arranging. “It's not really my story to tell you know.”

Seungcheol smiles sheepishly at Soonyoung, saving the progress of his paper before slowly closing his laptop screen to let the device go on sleep mode. “Am I that obvious?”

“To be honest, yeah.” Soonyoung laughs at the embarrassed expression on Seungcheol, causing him to get embarrassed even more. “It's not much of a secret if you ask me. Jihoon will tell anyone who will ask the right questions. But so far only few does, so only few knows what is really truly happening.”

“Is he alright?” Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows in concern. Soonyoung sighs, before he finally finishes up fixing the papers, setting it to a side before facing Seungcheol's worry. “Yes and no.”

“Yes and no?”

“Like I said, it's not my story to tell. But Jihoon... Jihoon has suffered enough. He has loved too much, gave too much.”

“Is something wrong? With him and Yejin?”

Soonyoung smiles sadly at Seungcheol's words, and seeing the sad smile on his face felt like the only confirmation that Seungcheol needed. He felt like a heavy stone was put on his chest, suffocating him, making him unable to breathe. They were the perfect couple, how can that happen?

“I can hear the gears shifting in your head Seungcheol.” Soonyoung chuckles sadly. “And no, they aren't a perfect couple. No one is.”

“But... I thought they were going strong. They've been together for years. What happened?”

“Like I said, it's not my story to tell.” Soonyoung says, as he averts his eyes from Seungcheol's unwavering stare, as if looking in to Seungcheol's eyes can make him say everything that has been troubling Jihoon. “Sometimes, I even feel like I know too much.”

Seungcheol is at a loss, unable to think of what is proper to say or to do. For all the time that he knew Jihoon, he has only heard of the tale of his perfect relationship with Yejin, a girlfriend of his way back at his hometown. He has heard stories of how Jihoon would religiously go back home just to celebrate special occasions with her, he has seen her post pictures of them together on her social media accounts, he has heard what songs Jihoon would dedicate to sing for her whenever she would ask him to. It was a well-known fact that they were happily together, but apparently it wasn't well known enough to the people that not everything they see were genuine happiness at all.

Soonyoung witnessed his internal dilemma and places a heavy hand on his shoulder as if to ground Seungcheol down. “Jihoon... he'll be fine. Jihoon just has to make a decision soon. It's been far too long.”

“Decision?”

“The decision if he'll finally choose genuine happiness for himself, rather than only for others.”

 

 

_(6)_

 

“Are you ready?”

“Hmm.”

“Bags packed?”

“No, not yet.”

 

Seungcheol brings his hand carrying the phone away from his face, giving the phone a deadpan expression as if it can carry across through the phone's receiver for Jihoon to see. He hears Jihoon's laughter from the other end of the line, and a sense of bitter calmness washes through him.

“I can see your ugly face from here. Stop that. You should enjoy the night.”

“Eh, it's all good. Soonyoung's been making everyone drink shots, even bringing it to the others lounging in the pool. In the pool Jihoon.” Seungcheol chuckles softly, as he watches the others swim, get drunk on alcohol that Soonyoung brings them from his position on the balcony overlooking everyone. “Everyone's having fun. It'll be more fun if you're here though.”

He hears a rustle from the other end of the line, Jihoon probably folding up clothes and chucking it in his luggage. Seungcheol hears Jihoon stifling a sigh, as he stifles one of his own. Goodbye is inevitable, but acceptance doesn't make it any less painful.

“You know I can't join Cheol. I have an early flight tomorrow.”

“Why do you have to take an early flight anyways!” Seungcheol whines, a clear attempt to bring up the mood. “You're the sole reason why we won this competition and yet you're not even here to celebrate it with us.”

Jihoon chuckles, before Seungcheol hears a grunt before a click was heard. Jihoon probably has closed his luggage already. “Yeah, I know, where would you guys be without me.” Jihoon jokes. “but I'm really sorry that I can't be there.”

Seungcheol looks up into the dark sky, seeing no stars ahead of him. Maybe it'll rain tomorrow. He silently hopes that it won't interfere with Jihoon's flight. As much as he doesn't want him to leave, he wants Jihoon to be safe.

“It's fine. Everyone knows that you can't be here mister hot shot musical prodigy.” Seungcheol says, still attempting to bring the mood up even if a bitter smile was etched on his face. “We're happy for you, you know. A New York opportunity is rare for us and yet here you are, on your way to be the most successful out of all of us. We're proud of you. So, don't worry about anything.”

Jihoon chuckles softly, and Seungcheol smiles upon hearing it. “That really means a lot. Thanks, Cheol. Really, I mean it.”

“Don't go sappy on me Jihoonie. It doesn't suit you.”

Laughter filled up the once awkward silence, a wave of satisfaction coursing through Seungcheol at the success of making Jihoon laugh. He hears Jihoon letting out a soft sigh as the laughter dies down, and he waits for him to say something.

“Cheol?”

“Yeah?”

“You know, I'm still sorry.”

“About what?”

“About what happened with Nayoung.”

Seungcheol jokingly scoffs at Jihoon's words as he shakes his head in disbelief. It's been months, close to a year and yet Jihoon still blames himself. “Jihoonie what are you—”

“I had a talk with her.”

He stops at this, rendered speechless at what Jihoon had said. He had talked to her? “But... why?”

“I felt that a closure is still needed. Even if you guys don't talk anymore, then I will.”

Seungcheol sighs softly. He never knew that Jihoon would still take it up on him to make a closure that Seungcheol felt was unneeded. They both had a fault, they broke up, that was it. What kind of closure does Jihoon still needed?

“She said she was sorry.”

“What for?”

“For breaking your heart. For playing with you.”

Seungcheol shakes his head in disbelief. “It's... fine Jihoonie. I'm aware. It's okay. Me and Nayoung talked about this already. Why are you still bringing this up?”

“I just... felt the need for a closure.”

“There was. Me and Nayoung talked about it. What closure Jihoon?”

Silence followed his words, and for every silent second that passed, Seungcheol grew wary. “Jihoon?”

“Acceptance... for myself. I needed it.”

“For what?”

Seungcheol hears Jihoon emit a sigh, deep enough for him to know that whatever plagued Jihoon's mind really worried him out.

“I needed to accept that... if I just understood myself better, then maybe you wouldn't have met Nayoung.”

 

 

_(10)_

 

_One message from Lee Jihoon at 11:30am._

_-hey cheol._

_-I’m back._

_-do you think we could talk?_

_-I miss you._

 

**Author's Note:**

> • I have stopped writing for a few years already because of personal reasons, but only came back because of the support of my lovely friends. This fic is like my baby. It's far from perfect, but this is on a personal level to me. So writing it out on this medium is like a form of acceptance in trying to beat my anxiety in my writing skills, and also my anxiety in some of my personal aspects in life. So if you have read it through and through, thank you.
> 
> • Take risks everyone, don't only count the what-ifs.
> 
> • Comments are highly appreciated! Help me improve in my writing!


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